The Secularism Dilemma


A random whatsapp conversation:

1:I hooked up with a shi3é (shiite) yesterday, OMG YO2BORA. And btw, my ex Elie dated him for a while after we broke up, and, before he and Mohammad got serious, lol. 

2: oh nice. btw, i never met Elie with his new bf

1: Yi wlo ktir alzheimer inta, the cute couple who came to my dinner last friday!! W you found out that Mohammad is George’s best friend.

2: Who’s Georges now?

1: The gym trainer you had a crush on last year. Btw, I heard that he got married to a kuwaiti guy in Norway.


Well, it’s not a secret to anyone that gays in Lebanon don’t give a fuck about what religion or non-religion you’re a part of. Maronites date Sunnis, Sunnis hook up with Shiites, Catholics get busy with Druze, etcetera etcetera. Beautiful, isn’t it?

But come to think of it, this makes me sad and leads me to ask a question that might or might not make sense:

“Are we really secular or is it because no one has hope in any future gay relationships / marriage in Lebanon that we tend to relax the religion constraint?”   

Deep down inside, I want us to act sectarian (and here’s the dilemma because I want us to be secular) just because it restores my faith that we are thinking seriously for our future, that we are worrying about our family’s opinion, that we are thinking about the way we will raise our kids, ilakh ilakh ilakh.

Do I make sense? 



  1. ET

    Well, my bf is a Maronite and I’m a Sunni, but I’d like to think that if we ever have kids I’d be able to raise them the way I was raised… He doesn’t know that yet, but he will! :p

  2. A Sunni :P

    I’ve continuously wondered about the same think. But I think the bigger issue lies in reconciling your faith with your sexuality.

  3. another1ofthose

    Well perhaps it is because of the mentality of our society, that we don’t give a damn about our religious background. We just want someone with whom we feel comfy. I on the other hand, I dropped out on a guy just because he is overly religious, taking into consideration my atheistic lifestyle and mentality. I seriously don’t want someone who would drop out on me for a month or two just to reconcile with his god so that the latter would forgive his sins, if you know what i mean that is!

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