الحلقة الثانية: العلاقات العاطفية البعيدة المدى

Dear BGBers, I was recently the guest blogger at Blebnani’s campaign أكتب مثلي بالعربي to talk about our personal experiences in Long Distance Relationships. Check it out on this link! Hope you like it!

الحلقة الثانية: العلاقات العاطفية البعيدة المدى.

7 types of guys I dated in Lebanon

Submitted by Captain Hero.

1

Yes, he’s 43 and filthy rich, but that doesn’t keep him from living at his parents’ house. You’re planning to spend a weekend together? Wait he has to take the permission from his daddy first.

2

He lives his life thinking that he’s Valmont from the Stendhal novel. He also  thinks he’s having the sex life of an 18th century “libertin” but when it comes to his psychological complexes, he’s worse than a modern Bret Easton character.

3

You meet online  you chat for a week nonstop  then you  meet live then you have  sex after 5 min then he tells you it was amazing then he disappears then after a month he tells  u he wants u again then u meet then u have sex… (forgive me the non use of commas but it suits  the context well)

4

Not that he has to have the  name of one of the characters of a Turkish soap opera,  but dating him would make you feel  like you’re actually samar or nour or a sultana to be. Everyday has its own share of tragedy… you  woke up and didn’t call him? You went to a lunch with a friend without telling him. Any daily life action can become a pretext for him to satiate his taste for epic dramas.

5

His world revolves between his protein shake intakes and how many reps he did during his workout. He’s so fond of his body that he thinks it’s a privilege he’s sharing it with the world  (you being part of the world). His IQ is inversely proportional  to his body mass index. You can use him as a free personal trainer or as a trophy so u can brag about in front of your friends but his sexual skills are below average due to all the supplements he gulps down.

6

You start chatting on Grindr and says he’s bi, at some point he makes you feel he’s wondering why this app is full of naked men only. He’s a perfect top in bed and he doesn’t allow you to to get anywhere close to his ass until the day you find out that he’s been fucked by half of the town.

7

He’s hot and macho and hairy. You always felt like you’re in a boot camp while dating him. He doesn’t go to parties but believes in God’s party. Every trip u do to the southern area to meet him for sex is like a commandos . You haven’t heard from him since he told you he’s traveling  abroad on a secret mission.

Lebanesophobia

“Don’t worry, I’m Lebanese”: that’s what Tarek, a friend of mine from Egypt, who lives in Dubai (or pretentiously DXB), received on Grindr when he asked for a photo. The guy had an empty profile with a gray avatar for his profile photo. Each time I speak to Tarek, he shares similar stories that happened to him or his friends in DXB, either on dating apps or in bars. It seems that the majority of the Lebanese guys who live there rely only on their “lebanesiness” to impress other nationalities and reel them into their web. Here’s an example:

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It’s like the lebanese homosexuals in Dubai added another layer of “pretentiousness” to the already existing layer of “superiority” associated with the lebanese community in general (Both gay and straight). This has led to the development of a new kind of phobia/discrimination against us. Here’s an example:

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 What do you think?

BGB